Recovering

Self love to me now more than ever is so important and something I think we all have to learn, but if you already have I think that is absolutely amazing; not everyone has to learn, but I think we would be lying if we said it's not something we have struggled with. Looking back at how I was when I had hardly an self love is so surprising to me.  At younger ages it clearly isn't something we have to worry about. The only thing we are worried about is how much fun we are having that day, when we get to see our friends. We are just carefree and we have no responsibilities. It's almost like at a certain age everything clicks. You suddenly aren't as carefree, you have responsibilities, and it's as if we stop enjoying life, and even stop enjoying ourselves. I can pin point the time where I realized I was losing self love, or I had no self love. In middle school I was comparing myself to every girl that walked by. In dance classes I was focusing on how my body looked, rath...

Not too long ago, the video Nicole Arbour "Dear Fat People" video broke out. What I saw it many, many time pop up on my Facebook I simply ignored it for weeks. I knew the chances of me watching it and either getting upset or offended would be pretty high. I ended up seeing a blog post from the guy who was mentioned in the video, and that's when I chose to watch it and see what all the fuss was about. The fact that people founds this funny and shared in support says a lot about them than it does about me being offended. Needless to say, I ended up writing how I felt about the situation. Part of me didn't know or understand why anyone was finding this funny after watching, but clearly Nicole got the attention she wanted.  First, let me point out, there's a fine line for controversial humor. Coming from someone recovering from an eating disorder, I couldn't imagine watching this video years ago before I entered recovery or while I was still fragile. Saying my fee...

I saw this today and I still can't believe how true it is. I remember when I first was finding out I had anxiety and depression, before I went to a doctor, I would hear similar things to this all the time. I think, "people have it a lot worse." Was the most common. Although, yes, that's true.. It doesn't mean that what another person is going through and feeling isn't important or should be ignored. We all have different battles, and so many more than we think are mental illnesses.  It's important to know that when someone is going through a hard time, no matter what, support can make such a difference. Physical and mental illnesses are different, but not by a whole lot. They both deserve equal support. I've said this before and I'll say it again, I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my support system. Not everyone has that, and in mental illnesses, everyone needs it.  I hid what I was going through for years, and looking back on...

One thing many people don't know about me, is that kindergarten through fourth grade I went to a private Lutheran school. Even during summer, my brother and I would go to bible camp. I truly believe that was a crucial part of my life, and I'm happy I got the chance to accept God into my life so early. I don't find myself to be a religious person by all means, but I have my faith.  I couldn't tell you how many times in class we would talk about forgiveness, but I also remember how silly I used to think it was that we had to be reminded to forgive those and even our selves. I even learned about forgiveness, was told about forgiveness in therapy many, many times. That really got tested on me come what happened to me during middle school (like I talked about in my first post). I was unbelievably angry that that was done to me, especially by a friend, as I am sure anybody else would be. It took me years to forgive that  friend,  and I really do...

I'm a firm believer everyone has a purpose. As cliche as it is to say this, your voice, my voice can make such an impact. I love writing, and for so long I always have. So, after months of contemplating I finally caved. This will be my first post, so please.. take it easy on me aha. I chose to dedicate this blog to my long, long journey of recovering. So for starters; Back in June of this year, one night I felt an over whelming emotion to share my story and use it in a way that I never expected I would.. Little more background.. For many years, like I mentioned above, I was embarrassed by the fact that I was one of SO many girls that would say, "I have an eating disorder.. I'm bulimic." It was hard to say out loud, and even harder once I came to terms with what I was doing to myself. I went to a close friend about my problem; my eating disorder. I thought this friend was someone I could confide in. Little did I know, while sitting in my 7th grade creative writing...